 _______________________________________________________________________ "You know what I like about you? You're kinda weird... but a good weird. And you're also one of the sweetest, funniest, most normal guys I know. Besides... blue is my favorite color." - Katherine Pryde to Kurt Wagner (X-men: Evolution #4, Am I Blue) "Me. Kurt Wagner. A.K.A Nightcrawler, teleporting Elf, and to certain females in my past, 'Blueberry-Muffin'... But I don't want that getting around." - Kurt (Uncanny X-men #423) Kitty: "You are probably my best friend, Fuzzy, you know that?" Kurt: "There was any doubt?" - (Excalibur #83) Kurt: "If there is anyone present who can think of a reason why we should not have our heads examined for trusting Spiral, may you speak now or forever hold your peace. Then by the power vested in me as Excalibur's team leader, I pronounce this mission a 'Go'!" Kitty: "(sniff) I always cry at weddings." - (Excalibur #109) Shadowcat: "Are you gonna fight everyone, Logan? I just wanna know if I'm next." Logan: "Nah, you'd go ninja on me - I can't take that kinda hurt." - (Astonishing X-men #??) Kitty: "Rogue has some ribbon in her room, but she's snoring up a storm, and I wouldn't want to wake her." Kurt: "I could teleport in and out quickly without her noticing." Kitty: "And stink up the joint? Subtle. But I think she'd notice." - Kurt and Kitty (Uncanny X-Men #365) Kitty: "Kurt, can't you just port us to the ground?" Kurt: "Oh yeah, that's a great idea! See, here's the plane and here's us (makes motions with his hands) Bumpity, bumpity, bumpity, SPLAT!" - Kitty and Kurt (X-men Evolution - Grim Reminder) Random Guy: "Kill the beast!" Kurt: "You'll find killing me not easily done, mein Herr. As you can see! I do have to take issue with what you called me, though. I'm not the Beast. Though it's an understandable mistake, which many make. After all, we're both covered in silky blue fur that drives the Frauleins wild! But I'm considerably slimmer, less shaggy and at the risk of blowing my own horn... I'm at least 37 percent more dashing in that all-important Errol Flynn sort of way!" -(X-Men Unlimited #49) Scott: "Looks like it's open season on mutants again. How do you feel, Nightcrawler?" Kurt: "Black and blue all over. But I'm that, anyway." - (Uncanny X-men #130) Reporter: "Well, you look like some kind of devil. Are you a devil?" Kurt: "Only to pretty girls on our third date." Reporter: "I'm trying to be serious here, sir." Kurt: "But, Miss Trinidad, we only just met! It's too soon to get serious yet!" - Kurt and a reporter (X-Men Unlimited #49) Kitty: ""Elsewhere"? What does that mean?" Hank: "It means we've narrowed it down to "else"" - Kitty to Hank about Logan's current whereabouts. (Astonishing X-men #1) "No, you listen! There's a sound I want you to hear! And it's... (Bamf!)" - Kurt (X-men: Evolution - Middleverse) "Lockheed, if you don't get your tail out of my face, I'm going to bite it off." - Kurt to Lockheed (Nightcrawler Mini Series #1) Kurt: "Want to play some spider-man mad libs?" Logan: "I specifically don't." - (??) Red King: "I'm rich... And powerful... And in love... And I will destroy you..!" Nightcrawler: "Love makes you want to stab people? That isn't love. That's brain damage. Though I do understand your confusion between the two, some days." - (Excalibur #100) "Take that Spider-Man, any wall you can climb I can climb twice as better!" - Kurt (Uncanny X-Men #??) "Aye carumba. Bet you thought I was going to say something cute in German, didn't you?" - Kurt (Uncanny X-Men #410) Kurt: (while swiping Remy's sandwich) “Turkey? Good.” Remy: “Got my coodies.” Kurt: “Had worse.” - (Gambit #1) Rogue: “No fair! Cutitout you’re tickling!” Nightcrawler: “And you are ticklish!” Rogue: “I’ll bash you buster! Stopstopstop! Ah mean it!” Nightcrawler: “Talk is cheap.” - (Uncanny X-Men #192) Kurt: "If you ever --" Brian: "Ever--" Kurt: "Hurt Kitty--" Brian: "I will, without hesitation, tear off your head." Kurt: "And I will spend days mocking it and drawing pictures on it before teleporting it into the North Sea!" - Kurt and Brian being overprotective over Kitty (Excalibur #91) Banshee: "Is everyone--" Nightcrawler: "Cold and wet, Banshee, thank you for asking. But why is it that every time we ride in something mechanical, it crashes!?" - Sean and Kurt after crashing by Moira's island and swimming to shore (Uncanny X-Men #104) "That darn paper boy, it is nearly six and still no paper - (GASP) Acolytes! Whatever is a defenseless, fuzzy elf like moi to do?" - Kurt Wagner (Excalibur #71) Kurt: (is hurt and totally out of it) "Katzchen... are you okay...?" Logan: "Fresh as a daisy, bub... but if you call me Kitty again, I'm gonna break my rule about slappin' around furry invalids." - (X-men #80) "I don't see why you two are so nervous. This is my kind of neighborhood! Lots of shadows and lots of things to climb on!" - Kurt (Uncanny X-men #130) Kurt: "Blue boy to tracker 1... can you read me? The pigeons are leaving the roost." Scott: "Kurt I'm right here. Why are you talking like that?" - Kurt and Scott (X-men Evolution - Walk on the Wild Side) "Oops. Heh heh sorry. Next time I'll honk before I 'port." - Kurt to Kitty (X-Men Evolution - The X-impulse) "Man that hommies lingo is so whack." - Kurt about Forge (X-men Evolution - Middleverse) Kurt: "Katherine. You don't want to do that. Why not give me the sword, eh?" Kitty: "Oh, JOY. It's the Monkey." - Possessed Kurt and Kitty (Excalibur #84) Kurt: "We're going to see 'Star Wars.' It's one of my favorite films, y'know - half the cast look like my relations." Piotr: "Especially the wookiee, eh?" - Kurt and Piotr (??) Boy: "Dude, you are so cool looking." Kurt: "Why yes, I know, but thank you." - Kurt after rescuing boy (Uncanny X-Men) "If I had a normal life I'd quite cheerfully go mad and fall over right now." - Kurt (Excalibur #103) "I was like you once. Alone. Unsure of what I was. Afraid to show my face. (flips hair) Can you believe it?" - Kurt to Rouge (X-men Evolution - Rouge Recuit) Kitty: "Ewww! Professor!! Kurt is like totally getting fur in the pool!!" Kurt: "I am NOT!" - Kurt and Kitty (X-men Evolution - Speed & Spyke) Kurt: "Chicks dig the fuzzy dude." (turns to Kitty) "Right?" Kitty: "I'm like so out of here. Later." Kurt: "Oh, yea. She can't resist!" - Kurt and Kitty (X-men Evolution) "Boom Boom?! You placed my life in the hands of a maniac?! (Tabitha comes in for the rescue) I'm going to die." - Kurt (X-Men Evolution) "Figures--we get away from the Hellfire Club with our skins intact, only to get trashed by one of our own! OI-FLIPPING-VEY!" - Kurt (X-Men - The Dark Phoenix Saga) Principal Kelly: "Mark my words, I will do anything to get rid of you mutants. You will regret this!!" Kurt: "Well! I'm not voting for HIM!" - Kurt, Scott and Principal Kelly (X-Men Evolution) Kitty: "Sorry about the timing. Did I miss the sorting hat?" Hank: "Just Scott's scintillating introduction speech." Cyclops: "Even I was bored." - Kitty, Hank, and Scott (Astonishing X-men) "I am a diamond, Ms. Pryde. I am, by definition, my own best friend." - Emma Frost to Kitty Pryde (Astonishing X-men) "Dat's what I like t'hear mon ami. Nothing like a good suicide mission to start the day off right. Maybe, after we stop de cullings, we can liberate de pits and overthrow the Big "A" altogether? 'Course dat don't leave much for de afternoon, but..." - Remy (AoA) Kurt: "Are you sure this will work?" Forge: "No." Kurt: "Wunderbar." - Kurt and Forge (X-men Evolution - Middleverse) "You young gentlemen like this film? I, also. Chewbacca's my favorite character... I have a friend...who's much shorter... but almost as hairy. And I always let him win too." - Kurt to two boys exiting theater (??) "... I'm fine... why are the gypsies dancing the lambada--?" - Kurt (Uncanny X-Men #366) "Ach... I may be accustomed to third-class travel... but this is ridiculous. Antonio Banderas would never work under these conditions." -Kurt (X-Men #80) Logan: "You gonna 'port us again, or what?" Kurt: "And risk appearing inside the wreakage -- or a fellow X-Man's body?" Logan: "Hmm, some interestin' possibilities there, huh?" Kurt: "Is this really the time for jokes?" - Kurt and Logan (X-Men #86) Guard: "Intruder! Some sort of demon!" Kurt: (while kicking their collective butts) "What a horrible thing to say! Words hurt, fella. Try to show a little compassion!" - Kurt (X-Men Unlimited #49) Tharen: (after Kurt kisses his daughter) "How dare you take such liberties with my daughter?! I'm going to kill you for that!" Kurt: "As opposed to all the reasons you were going to kill me a few seconds ago?"- X-Men Unlimited #49) “How embarrassing. Every other x-mutant gets to die in battle... from saving the universe from one cosmic evil or another. Everyone except me, Kurt Wagner... the oft-amazing Nightcrawler... dies on vacation.” - Kurt while piloting a private plane about to crash. (Excalibur #31) Kurt: (explaining to his teammates how he crashed a plane and ended up a "God" on "Wagner's Isle") "Maybe I should start at the beginning. I was flying here in the plane Brian lent me..." Brian: "That plane has been in my family for years. If anything happened to it..." Meggan: "Brian, please. Let him continue." Kurt: "Hmmm... maybe I should start in the middle. After I safely navigated the plane to the shore..." - (Excalibur #31) Remy: "Worse fates spring to mind, Chere." Rogue: "That's all Ah'd need - thoughts o' you running through my head twenty four hours a day." Remy: "How'd dat be any different than now?" - Rogue and Remy (X-men #8) Gambit: (after coming in from the rainy outdoors) "Fin'ly. I knew if I wore dis trench coat long enough... it'd event'ly come in handy." - Gambit (Uncanny X-Men #337) Beast: “Maybe Scott and Logan could fight on the lawn again. The kids love that.” Logan: “I ain’t up for anything that hasn’t got the word beer in it.” Beast: “You could fight for beers.” Logan: “Well, now that doesn’t sound too bad.” - Logan and Hank (Astonishing X-men #2) Rogue: “And I am so not a tree.” Kurt: “None of us are really trees, Rogue, but imagine, maybe you are hiding and so pretending to be a tree.” Rogue: “And just what kind of moron would I have to be hiding from that he might mistake me for a tree?” - Kurt and Rogue in Yoga class (X-men Evolution #4) “Rogue’s gonna be a handful. She is ‘so not a tree’.” - Logan about Rogue in Yoga class (X-men Evolution #4) Chamber: “Now, come on. I always apologize better on a full stomach.” Husk: “But… you don’t eat!” Chamber: “Oh, rub it in.” - Jono and Paige (Generation X #23) Jubilee: “Look here, Monet Yvette Yadda Yadda St. Croix--Miz Frost may have been a low-down, back-stabbing, money-grubbing corporate shark--but she went out and fought tooth-and-nail for every nickel she filched from her down-trodden stockholders. Not like YOU who was born with a silver Cartier canapé fork in your mouth! We known how mean and cruel and nasty and despicable and malicious and evil she used to be when she was doing the hangs over at the Hellfire Club, but she’s done all right by us, hasn’t she?” Emma: “Well, Jubilee--I hardly think I was all that bad…I mean, perhaps a bit misled and self-deluded but…” Jubilee: “I mean, it’s gotta take a lot of guts to stand up here and lecture us kids on morality when we all know what a devious witch she used to be! I mean, she used to plunder retirement accounts and the savings of old, crippled widows! You really gotta hand it to her!” Emma: “Thanks for coming to my defense, Jubilee.” - Jubilee and Emma (Generation X #46) Avalanche: "I'll bet Red didn't check the boss-lady for her little tracking device in her belt. We can home in on her and attack em en masse." Blob: "Yeah, and we'll be all together, too!" - Dominic and Fred (MCP #86) Cuban Revolutionary: "The General is a mutant?" Mystique: "Try again, hot stuff. My name is Mystique. I impersonated the General in order to infiltrate this facility and sabotage his Sentinels. And I would have gotten away with it...if it weren't for you pesky kids." - (Mystique #5) Kurt: "Ready for the ceremonial tossing of the bouquet, Kitty? Tradition has it that the lucky girl who catches it is next to marry! Isn't that sweet?" Kitty: "Ridiculous is more like it. Have you ever seen how catty women get when it comes to that stupid bunch of flowers? They're vicious!" Kurt: "Lighten up, Katzchen. Live a little." (He pushes her into the crowd of women, in which she promptly get pushed and shoved to within an inch of her life) Kitty: "HEY?! Owww! Ouch! Watch it! Oooh... you are SO dead, Elf!" - Kurt and Kitty (Excalibur #125) Gambit: "Rogue..." Rogue: "Don't. You just did the wrong thing for the right reason." Gambit: "So what now?" Rogue: "I'm going back with the X-men. I don't care what you do..." Gambit: (smiling) "Sure you don't..." - Remy and Rogue (X-men Evolution - Cajun Spice) "If you can't be cool, be feared. My mama always told me that!" - Todd (X-men Evolution) Kurt: "Jean, darling, please accept this croissant as a symbol of my love!" Kitty: "Oh Scott! You have... such a way with pastry!" - Kurt and Kitty while mocking Scott and Jean (X-men Evolution - Cruise Control) "You know what we need? Another teacher. And maybe a battle tank." - Logan (X-men Evolution) "When did the porcupine start shooting flaming arrows? Did I miss an upgrade notice or something?"- Logan (X-men Evolution) Kurt: (teleports into enemy jet) "Hi! I'm Nightcrawler, and this is Shadowcat." Kitty: "And this is your weapons system." (phases through and destroys control panel) Kurt+Kitty: (cheerful wave) "Bye!" - (X-men Evolution) Kitty: "Time to move on -- keep trying to find the way back to our world -- Nightcrawler, why are you looking at me so strangely?" Kurt: "I was just remembering the wide-eyed slip of a girl who bounced into Professor Xavier's school not so long ago, announcing 'I'm here,' as if she owned the place." Kitty: "I was such a kid! Remember how scared I was of you?" Kurt: "I'm glad you came, Katzchen. And that you stuck around." - Kurt and Kitty (Excalibur #17) Kurt: "Please, GRRNK!!... I can bear no more, NHMMAK! Shoot me, ERK! Put me out of my misery." Kitty: "Stop whining." Kurt: "You fiend! You are enjoying this, NNNPH!... This inhuman torture." Kitty: "Of course not. (chuckles evilly, holding up a large pair of shears) I just like playing doctor. Pity, a few snips... and it will all be over." Kurt: "EEEUNGH! NNMMPH!! Gak... GGGNMMPH!" Kitty: "Okay, okay. I'm finished already." Kurt: (while itching the leg Kitty has just finished cutting the cast off of) "Ooooh, ahh, ooah, blissss... Danke, Kitty, danke. Ooaah, wunderbar... that itch was driving me insane." - Kurt and Kitty (Excalibur #54) Kurt: (After punching bad guy's lights out) "That was for the pain and mischief he caused." Brian: "No, you enjoyed it." Kurt: (smiling innocently) "Ja. I hate politicians." Kitty: "When you two are done massaging your machismo..." - Kurt and Brian and Kitty (Excalibur #65) "That's the classic X-men spirit, fellas. Never use a door when you can make one of your own." - Kitty (??) "I refuse to cope with weirdness in my nightshirt. Get the colors on, then start coping." - Kitty (Excalibur #103) "I appreciate a spontaneous rescue as much as the next blue-furred mutant - which I suppose would be Nightcrawler - but wouldn't it have been prudent to check Sabretooth at the door?" - Beast (X-Men #7) "Don't bleed so loud, you're giving me a headache." - Captain Britain (Excalibur #100) "To me, my X-men! -koff koff- I sense danger! Make it so! Somebody get me a drink!" - Pete Wisdom while recovering in a wheelchair, wearing a bald cap, impersonating Xavier (Excalibur #93) Moira: "Peter Wisdom. What are you up to, creeping around like that?" Pete: (While holding a fire extinguisher) "Ssssh! Be very quiet. I'm hunting flying rats." Moira: "You mean Kitty's pet dragon? Och they're all going mad..." Pete: "C'mere, Lockheed... uncle Pete's got a present for you... just give me my cigarettes back... you thieving, stupid-looking son of a drug-crazed anteater..." Lockheed: "You'll never take me alive, Copper." - Moira, Pete, and Lockheed (Excalibur #97) Spoor: (as the criminal is airlifted away in a cage) "A'm SPOOR! A'm the most terrifying creature ye'll ever see! Ye can't jis' wave me aroond like a shoppin' bag! Ye BAMPOTS!" Kurt: "I'm going to miss him." - (Excalibur #102) Pete: (while watching Kitty fight) "Kitty, are you nearly done? I think you're just playing now..." Kitty: "Give me a minute. This one's still got his eyes open." - (Excalibur #102) Barak: "YOU DARE ASSAULT THE MIGHTY BARAK?!" Pete: (calmly, lighting up a cigarette) "Yup." - (Excalibur #110) Kurt: "What?" Hank: "Nothing, it's just... I'm covered in blue fur and can't get a date. You're covered in blue fur and are forever extricating yourself from one or more romantic entanglements. I'm beginning to get a complex." - (Nightcrawler #6) "You know, the only thing I hate more than light beer... is hordes of rampaging zombies!" - Logan while being surrounded by zombies (Nightcrawler #10) "Are you alive?" Logan: "No." "Are you a vegetable?" Logan: "Yes." Phantomex: "You're beer." Logan: "... Dammit." Piotr: "Wait a moment-" Betsy: "You consider beer a vegetable?" - Logan, Phantomex, Piotr, and Betsy while playing 20 Questions (Uncanny X-men #522) Stryker: "Human?! (points at Kurt as if he's the most disgusting thing in the world) You call that... THING... human?!?" Kitty: "More human than you! Nightcrawler's generous and kind and decent! He had every reason to be bitter, every excuse to become as much of a demon inside and out. But he decided he'd rather learn to laugh instead! I hope I can be HALF the person he is. And if I have to choose between caring for my friend and believing in your god then I choose my friend!" - (X-men: God Loves, Man Kills) Kurt: "Ah-- Ah-- Ah--" Princess: "By the goddess, Kurt! Your clothing disappeared completely! And then reappeared! How did you do that?! ... (pause) ... And can you do it again?" - (Nightcrawler Mini Series #2... I think XP) Barak: "What kind of freakish human are you?" Kurt: "I am a 'mutant'... born with a variant chromosome that not only gives me amazing powers... but makes me a dashingly handsome fellow!" - (Excalibur #110) Rogue: "Phew! Nighty, you gotta do something 'bout that brimstone stench every time you 'port." Kurt: "Liebchen, it's my trademark. What would people say?" Rogue: "'Thank you?'" - Rogue and Kurt (Uncanny X-men #192) Kurt: "You'd think the more I practice 'porting, the easier it would get. Perhaps, sir, I'm past my prime." Xavier: "To quote Kitty, Nightcrawler -- give me a break." - Kurt and Xavier (Uncanny X-men) "I've been called a monster. I've been hunted. Hell, I'm the son of a demon. Does this mean that I have no soul? I don't know for sure. It isn't something I can touch, something I can control. All I can control is what I do. I make the choices I think are right and that is all I can do. I decided that I have a soul. Come back with us. Come back with your friends and prove to the world that you do have a soul." - Kurt to Illyana (I think? lol) "I came here in hopes to scramble a few eggs for breakfast since I can handle both a spatula and pan again, and yet all this ridiculous refrigerator has inside are 'hot pockets.' I need eggs, Scott. Not 'hot pockets.' I don't even know what a 'hot pocket' is." - Hank (Uncanny X-men #501) Wong: (answers phone) "Hello?" Alistaire: "Doctor Strange?" Wong: "No, this is Wong." Alistaire: "Wrong? What is?" Wong: "I am." Alistaire: "You are what?" Wong: "Wong." Alistaire: "But you haven't said anything yet!" Wong: "What?" Alistaire: "Argh! Look, here's the problem..." - (Excalibur #30) Krakoa's Son: (while strangling Kurt) "That ever-present sense of humor! This is something I should develop before I bring about the genocide of the human race." Kurt: "I'm free on Tuesday if you'd like a lesson." - (Excalibur #31) Logan: "Quit whining, Kid. I got eaten today." Hank: "Yes, about that..." Logan: "Forget it." Hank: "I can't begin to apologize." Logan: "Pff! That's what friends are for." Hank: "I'm fairly certain it's not." - Logan and Hank after Hank ate part of Logan's leg (Astonishing X-men #18) Logan: "I don't usually yap about my past, Moira, but fer you I'll make an exception... I was a dull kid growin' up in a dull town. But one day I went to a science exhibition - and everything changed!" (shows Logan in nerdy outfit at a science exhibit getting bitten by some glowing animal, ala Spiderman. Random guy says, "Hey, who let the radioactive wolverine out of its cage?") "The next day, I sprouted some hair... and muscles... and..." (shows Logan sprouting metal claws and saying, "Whoa. Where'd these come from?") "Time went by. I tried lots of jobs - like children's author.." (show's Logan on typewriter. Book reads, "Boucy Bear went to visit his friend Walter Weasel. "Where's the money you owe me, Walter?" Bouncy asked as he pulled out his favorite mallet...") "Theater actor..." (shows Logan on stage with claws out, another actor says, "N-now calm down, Willy..." Logan says, "This is one salesman who ain't dyin', bub!") "Folk singer..." (shows Logan on stage wearing a poncho, strumming an acoustic guitar, singing, "How many roads must a man walk down... before he gives up and steals a car...") "Nothin' seemed to work out, though." - Part of Logan's absolutely hilarious recap of his past (Uncanny X-men First Class Giant Sized #1) Logan: "You're a regular tin soldier, ain'tcha, Petey? I'll bet Charley gives you an extra gold star on yer report card this month..." Piotr: "Thank you, Tovarisch, but the professor does not... wait. This is sarcasm?" Kurt: "If his lips are moving, Peter, then yes." - (Uncanny X-men First Class #5) Jean: "Which one of you has been putting on weight? I can hardly hold you!" Scott: "It's Nightcrawler. Burgers seven days a week will do that to a fella." Kurt: "Ahh, the breakfast of mutants!" - (X-men Evolution) "Superpowers, a scintillating wit, and the best body money can buy... and I still rate below a corpse." - Emma about Jean (Astonishing X-men #1) Emma: "This, children, is Kitty Pryde, who apparently feels the need to make a grand entrance." Kitty: "I'm sorry. I was busy remembering to put on all my clothes." Emma: "So gushingly glad you could join us." - (Astonishing X-men #1) Fury: "How do you know your Colossus is the genuine article in the first place?" Emma: "I read his mind." Hank: "I matched his DNA." Logan: "I smelled him." Hank: "I also did that." - (Astonishing X-men #6) Thing: "Didn't they come up with a cure for your kind?" Logan: "You got a problem with mutants?" Thing: "I meant Canadians." - (Astonishing X-men 7) Kitty: "Well, we could just keep quiet about it for awhile. Like, say forever. Or we could blame it all on Kurt." Kurt: "Hey!" - (X-men Evolution) Bamf: "All right, listen up! I'm gonna go hand that no-good wizard his head! Who's with me?" Female Bamf 1: "I am!" Female Bamf 2: "We all are! He can't do this to us. Let's go clean his clock!" Female Bamf 3: Yeah! Let's punch his ticket! Female Bamf 4: "--Check his hat!" Female Bamf 5: "--Cancel his reservation!" Female Bamf 6: "--Press his pants!" Female Bamf 7: "--Kick his bucket!" Female Bamf 8: "--Rotate his tires!" - (Nightcrawler Mini Series #4) Female Bamf 1: (sees Kurt) "Whoop- wow! What's he?!" Kurt: "Uh oh..." Female Bamf 2: "Hubba-hubba!" Female Bamf 3: "Wotta hunk! Hey, girls! Look!" Female Bamf 4: "How 'bout a kiss, tall dark and bamfsome?"- (Nightcrawler Mini Series #4) Kurt: "Cain slew Abel, and thus the world knew murder. One could argue that murder is as natural as dying of old age." Logan: "You don't really believe that." Kurt: "I am no longer sure what I believe, my friend. My grasp of ethical and theological theory is slipping, to say the least. As a result, I am forced more often than not to rely on the facts as I know them. Action always speak louder than words. You know this better than anyone. Your actions have always marked you, to me, as a good man. As an honorable man." Logan: (pause) "Three days ago, I killed twenty-seven men." Kurt: (is silent) Logan: "Not much to say to that, huh, Elf?" Kurt: "You were enraged?" Logan: "All the way to the bone." Kurt: "And these men, they had earned this rage?" Logan: "You're looking for an excuse." Kurt: "No, my friend, I'm straining to understand. Because if you tell me that these twenty-seven men were innocents all, then you are everything you have always feared yourself to be. And you would have to be stopped." Logan: "And you'd stop me?" Kurt: "No. But I would die trying." - Kurt and Logan (Wolverine #6) Armor: "So how's the whole 'I'll just run up the monster and be the stabby hero' thing working out for you?" Logan: "Shaddap, tiny." - Logan and Armor after Logan is burnt to a crisp by a sentinel (Astonishing X-men #32) "When you're born with a tail, you learn to go through doors fast!" - Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler Mini Series #??) "Kitty Pryde. When have I ever been able to say 'no' to you?" - Kurt (Nightcrawler #12) Azazel: "Kurt lied to me. He knew Ginniyeh wasn't here to read the truth - and our son lied to me, Raven." Raven: "I wonder which side of the family he gets that from?" - Azazel and Mystique (Uncanny X-men #434) Rogue: (as a sentinel is just about to kill Kurt, Rogue teleports in and smashes it) "HANDS OFF MAH BROTHER, ROBOT!" Kurt: "Rogue? I love your sense of timing." Rogue: "Learned it from you." - Rogue and Kurt (X-men: Forever 2 #3) Logan: "Wrap it up, Elf. I got places to be." Kurt: "Jah, jah. You kvetch like an old woman." - Logan and Kurt while beating the crap out of bad guys (Uncanny X-men #502) Kitty: "What the heck are you?!?" Bamf: "I'm a bamf! And you're a girl! Want to make beautiful music together, Liebchen?" - (Uncanny X-men #153) Illyana: "Kitty - look!" Kitty: "Fuzzy-elf!" Kurt: "I'm home! Kitty, whatever you do - don't touch those controls!" Kitty: (tackles him in a hug) "Oh Fuzzy-elf, we thought we'd lost you forever! Don't ever leave us again!" Kurt: "I promise! I promise! Just don't break my neck, Kitty!" - (Nightcrawler Mini-Series #4) Kurt: "Ach! Faith! Wolverine has reminded me, Kitty..." (he pulls out a star of david necklace that he bought for her earlier that day) "...This is for you." Kitty: "Kurt, I... remember when I was having doubts about coming back to the X-men?" Kurt: (as he is helping her put on the necklace) "Yes?" Kitty: "Well, I want to thank you... for reminding me this team is my family, and the dream is my faith." - Kurt and Kitty (Uncanny X-men #363) "Okay, lecture over. Now cheer up or we kill you." - Kurt to Kitty (Excalibur #83) Yuriko: "She's stubborn, Stryker." Stryker: "She's a Cubs fan, Deathstrike." - Yuriko and Stryker about Kitty Pryde (X-treme X-men #26) Magneto: "We shouldn't go into the island's interior until we're sure this site is secure." Kurt: "Thank you, Magneto. It's good to have you on my team. From now on, you can be in charge of stating the obvious." - Kurt and Magneto (??) "Soon as I finally want the stupid powers, they up an' leave me. Story of mah life..." - Rogue (X-Men #80) Kurt: "Peter, mein freund." Piotr: "Da?" Kurt: "Your foot." Piotr: "Da?" Kurt: "Remove it from my spleen." - Kurt and Piotr (Uncanny X-men #367) Scott: "We can have out nervous breakdowns later. Everyone get it together!!!" Spiderman: "Fine, but when we do get to have our nervous breakdowns, I go first." - (House of M #5) Pete: "Maybe we could turn to a life of crime or something." Kitty: "A mutant Bonny and Clyde? Who'd buy that?" Pete: "Oh come one, the Dynamic Duo, Pryde and Wisdom. How's that? Like Starsky and Hutch, Butch and Sundance..." Kitty: "Ren and Stimpy." - (Excalibur #90) "I've been an X-Man since I was fourteen, Pete. It's like wearing a big sign saying 'Please try and kill me, I like it.'" - Kitty Pryde (Excalibur #89) "I got somethin' for you here... Les'see now... bills, bills... junk mail, junk mail... Hair Club for Men... that's for the Prof... National Geographic... naked pygmies... that's for Drake... Aha! Here you go, Tweety!" - Jubilee on mail call (X-Men #29) Lila: "You have a plan?" Remy: "Scary thought, no?" "You made me throw my cigarette away. You must be punished." - Pete Wisdom (Excalibur #??) "I realize you're having trouble holding onto your ever tenuous grip on humanity, but 'Grrrr' falls somewhat short of articulate." - Hank to Logan (X-men #9) Moira: "Soo, youse twa, whit's happenen exacktly heere?" Rahne: "Whit?" Kurt: "Was?" Amanda: "Huh?" Brian: "What?" Moira: "Sorry. Ma accent gets a bit thicker after a beer or two." - (Excalibur #91) "Whut di ye mean, tha bar es shut!? A wan a whesky, an a wan et noo! a'll gi ye sam laldy, michty me... if ye'll jis git wi'in reech o' ma hauns, annat..." - Drunk Moira to Bartender (Excalibur #91) "You silver-tongued, fork-tailed devil, Nightcrawler! Bless you! Funny - first time we met, he scared the beans out of me. All his life, Kurt's had that reaction. Some people - most, I bet - never get beyond it. They see the nightmare features, not the kind and gentle-- meep!?!" - Kitty's thoughts before she accidentally falls through a wall (Excalibur Special - Mojo Mayhem) Kurt: “Everywhere you go, mother…there’s always trouble.” Mystique: “He started it.” – (X-men #174) "Whoa, this is tres creepy... like Children of the Corn, only with rabbits..." - Deadpool (Deadpool #27) Arcade: "Hello, Deadpool. Ready for a fun filled day in Murderworld?" Deadpool: "Yup. I've got my sunscreen on and I've taken my motion sickness pills so bring on the rides!" Arcade: "Oh, I don't think you understand. You're going to die here." Deadpool: "I know! Carnivals always slay me." Arcade: "No. You are going to physically die... as in stop breathing. You will cease to exist." Deadpool: "Riiiiiight... So do you have bumper cars here?" Arcade: "Arrrgh!" - Deadpool and Arcade (??) "You always know where the X-Men have been, because it's always on fire." - Pete Wisdom (Excalibur #??) Deadpool: "You ever play street fighter?" Kitty: "As if-" Deadpool: *uppercuts Kitty* "SHORYUKEN!" - Deadpool and Kitty (Deadpool #27) "Can I be part of the X-men? That Kitty girl is getting totally ripe." - Deadpool (??) Jean: "I must confess, infuriating and arrogant as Gambit can be... those eyes, that grin, the body - it takes a girl's breath away." Scott: "Oh really? When next the opportunity presents itself... remind me to drop a truck on him." Xavier: "Cyclops." Scott: "A big truck." Xavier: "Cyclops." Scott: "A really big truck." - Jean, Scott, and Xavier (X-men # 1) "My common sense is tingling." - Deadpool (??) "Did you ever think that to the nuts inside, the peanut is like their whole universe? I mean they could fall in love and never be together because the shell separates them. So close, but their cruel prison - the shell - keeps them apart. It's so sad! How they must hate their cruel master, The Shell, uncaring despoiler of legume romance! And then one day, they're free! And it's like, 'let's dance, you hot salty nut!'" - Deadpool (??) Jubilee: "Show-off! I was just about to do that!" Hank: "I am certain. Fact is, I was sitting over there thinking, 'What would Jubilee do in MY place?'" - Jubilee and Hank (X-Men #9) Kurt: (while kissing the back of Rogue's hand) "There are many things you do well, Rogue -- but 'not drawing attention' to yourself? Impossible." Rogue: "And they call me Rogue?" - (X-men Unlimited #4) Marrow: "No problemo. I boosted an old set of walkie-talkies from some maintenance guys in the tunnels." Storm: "Boosted?" Remy: "You stole radios?" Marrow: "Gimme a break. I'm gonna get lectured on taking things that aren't mine by a pickpocket and a member of the Thieves Guild?" (pause) Remy: "Um, right..." - (X-men Unlimited #22) Kurt: (with an injured Logan on the subway tracks) "Ultimatum seems to have backed away from our tracks for some reason..." Logan: "Uh... elf?" Kurt: "Hm?" (looks back and sees train coming at them) "Oh." - (X-men Unlimited #22) Kurt: (with sword, watching tv) "Have at thee, ye scurvy schweinhunde!" Piotr: "I know Errol Flynn is your childhood hero, Kurt - but must you enact every scene? Someone could lose an eye..." Kurt: "Relax, Piotr. I am a master swordsman! I am death to mine enemies and a savior of damsels in distress! BEHOLD! Mein grace...! mein poise...! mein precision...! (Kitty suddenly phases her head through his chest) MEIN GOTT!" - (X-men Unlimited #23) "I wonder if I could pop my claws through my skull so fast my healing factor couldn't save me?" - Logan after being blackmailed into chauffeuring Kitty and her friends to a Dazzler concert (Wolverine First Class #2) Logan: "No." Kitty: "Please?" Logan: "No." Kitty: "Pleeeeease?" Logan: "No." Kitty: "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeasssssse?" Logan: "Okay." Kitty: "Really?" Logan: "No." - (Wolverine First Class #15) Kitty: "Even if you haven't met him, he must know who you are! I mean you're... you're... you!" Kurt: "She's got you there. You are you." Logan: "That's a relief." - (Wolverine First Class #15) Kitty: "Pete, you told me you stole it from Kurt's room..." Kurt: (in the background) "What?!" - (Excalibur #93) Kurt: "I almost killed you..." Kitty: "Not deliberately. Besides, I kicked your furry butt." - Kurt and Kitty (Excalibur #??) "He's on his own plateau of weirdness." - Kitty about Kurt (Wolverine First Class #??) "Handsome? I guess. In a psychopathic werewolf-on-crack kind of way." - Morph about Logan (Exiles #3) Talia: "Dad!" Kurt: "Vas? Verdammter Mist. I knew I should have been more careful." - Kurt after meeting TJ for the first time (one of his several AU children =P) (Exiles #29) Coach: "Hey, you, McBean." Hank: "It's McCoy, Coach Reppnick." Coach: "Whatever. Get over here." (hands him a football) "You know what this is?" Hank: "Some kind of oblate spheroid with tapered ends." Coach: "Right. Kick it over those posts." - (X-men Origins Beast) "Oh please - if cats had thumbs they'd have done far worse to us by now." - Dr. Nemesis (X-men Second Coming - Blind Science #1) Kitty: "Illyana, you ever have one of those days...?" Illyana: "Nope. I let you have 'em for me." Kitty: "Thanks a lot." - (X-men and the Micronauts #1) Kurt: "Vas--" Bamf: "Daddy! You've come home!" Kurt: "Mein Gott, it's a cabbage-patch Nightcrawler!" - (Nightcrawler Mini Series #3) "Hot dog! GIRLS! Come to Bamf's lovin' arms, babycakes!" - Bamf to Kitty and Illyana. Lol! You've gotta love the Bamfs XD (Nightcrawler Mini Series #3) "Oh, my great aunt Fannie's sauerkraut cupcakes! I've died and gone to heaven!" - Bamf upon finding a room filled with Female Bamfs (Nightcrawler Mini Series #4) "You have come a long way from the circus, Kurt Wagner. There was a time when your biggest concern was sharing a dressing room with Gilda the Bearded Lady. Years later, you're prowling about a crowded shopping mall in Glasgow in search of a walking nuclear warhead! Suddenly, it seems petty to have complained about hair in the sink." - Kurt (Excalibur Special - Air Apparent) Hank: "There comes a time, 'tween life and death - when all men stop to catch their breath. We ask the stars, 'Why?' We question our lot... The heavens open wide and reply 'why not?'" Logan: "Yeats?" Hank: "Nope. Beast." - (X-men #11) "No one gives me a lump of coal and lives, Bub!" - Logan to Santa Claus (Marvel Holiday Special 1991) Kurt: "I want property damage from you, Pete, and lots of it. Make a mess, get them running around in a panic. Oh, and try not to get shot." Pete: "Oh, cheers..." - Kurt and Pete (Excalibur #??) "I remember a time when you were afraid to accept me. I would be very sad if you had never opened your heart to let me in." - Kurt Wagner to Kitty Pryde (Excalibur Annual #2) "Why don'cha charge up one'a them playin' cards with some kinetic whoop-de-do and get this show on the road, Sweet-cheeks." - Rogue to Remy (X-Men Adventures #1) Remy: "Oh, th' pain." Rogue: "Hush, Cajun, an' get up!" Remy: "Mus' be paralyzed." Rogue: "Convenient position." - Remy and Rogue while Remy's head is laying against Rogue's chest (??) "You know it's a bad sign when I'm de voice of reason..." - Remy LeBeau (??) Beast: "Sometimes, Bobby, I wonder if puberty will ever end for you." Warren: "Or start." - (Uncanny X-Men #356) Kitty: "A time-delay on your kinetic charge? When'd you pick that one up?" Logan: "Boy's a regular secret machine, Kitty." Remy: "Takes one to know one, Wolverine." Kurt: "Good comeback." - (Gambit #1, I think) Ororo: "Your pardon, sir. We are here to see a man about a rescue." Xavier: "Pity. I was hoping for a pizza delivery." Piotr: "Is Professor Xavier unwell, Storm? He is making a joke." - (X-men #3) Stewerdess: "Do you need help fastening your seatbelt?" Gambit: "Need... or want?" - (??) Remy: "Where'd you get dat extra bio-energy?" Bishop: "I stored it. Where'd you hide the bo-staff?" Remy: "Don't ask if y'don't want to know." - (??) "C'mon, Bobby! You think I'm only interested in Rogue for the physical thrill of it all. Been with a lot of women, but with her... Just never felt this way about anyone before." - Remy (??) Rogue: "I got the Russian, Storm! What about the swamp rat?" Ororo: "He is about to receive a painful lesson in the law of gravity and humiliation unless the good Earth responds to my call." Remy: "CA C'EST ASSEZ! Enough! I'm sorry already! Less wit' de guilt and more wit' de savin' Chere!" - (??) "Alors! I thought I'd joined the X-Men, not the Brady Bunch! There are some things I prefer not to do in a group." - Remy (X-men #??) "For de first time since you dropped into dis century, you called me *Remy*. You tryin' to make me *blush*?" - Remy to Bishop (??) "Girl, don you ever listen? Wit'out you...I don't have much of a life!" - Remy to Rogue (??) Juggernaut: "Come on, Northstar, I like girls. Present company excluded." Northstar: "Did you--did you just call me a girl?" Juggernaut: "Well, you like boys, don't you?" Northstar: "No, I like men. Present company excluded." Juggernaut: "Whoo, now I'm deeply wounded. I may never recover from the painful emotional shock of being rejected by a guy." - (Uncanny X-Men #431) Annie: "Everyone knows that I don't like mutants. Everyone knows I have a thing for Alex. Everyone knows you used to date Lorna. Everyone thinks Northstar and I are dating, even though he's openly homosexual..." Bobby: "Northstar's gay?!" - (Uncanny X-Men #425) Kurt: (while chasing Kitty with mistletoe) "Come on, Kitty! Just one little kiss? Please?" Xavier: "Ahh... to be young again." Logan: "Yea, glad that's over." - (X-men Evolution) Lance: "You heard me. I want to be an X-Man. I'm serious." Logan: "Yeah right, and I want to be the Tooth Fairy!" - (X-men Evolution) Rogue: "Go away!" Kurt: "Is that any way to treat your little brother?" Rogue: "We're not related." Kurt: "Oh, now that's just denial talking." - (X-men Evolution) Little girl: "Mister...can I ask you a question?" Wolverine: "Sure, darlin." Little girl: "Are you... are you Spider-Man?" Wolverine: "No, darlin'... Spider-Man's a sissy." - (Wolverine #181) Angel: "Want me to drip some of my blood into the wound and see if it heals the damage?" Nightcrawler: "Now there's a question I never thought anyone would ask me..." - (Uncanny X-Men #431) Rogue: "You never give up, do you?" Remy: (while lying on her bed) "What kind of thief would I be if I did, chere? An' look where it's landed me." - Rogue and Remy (Rogue Ltd. Series #1) "The lesson for today, Tovarisch? NEXT time your extremely WEIGHTY teammate is doing reconnaissance on an icy PRECIPICE... do NOT leap on his back and yell ‘CHICKEN FIGHT’." - Colossus to Gambit after they're just barely rescued from falling into an icy crevice (X-Men #82) "You mean, someone was actually desperate enough to become... MRS. Gambit?!" - Jubilee about Bella Donna (??) Jubilee: "How did you do that?" Gambit: "With style, Petite. With style." - (??) Gambit: (just fell over while attempting to ski) "OK, so we don't ski much on the bayou!" Rogue: (laughing) "You sure you don't want help?" Gambit: "Course not. Gambit's a natural athlete." (begins to slide backwards down the hill) Rogue: "REMY!" - (X-men Animated Series) Rogue: "Don’t you ever get tired of listening to yourself?" Gambit: "Not when I’m talkin’ bout you, chère." - (X-men Animated Series) Fred: "We don't go anywhere we ain't wanted." Todd: "Since when?" - (X-men Evolution - Mainstream) Kid: "Hey, what's your special power? Can you, like, read my mind?" Rogue: "Yeah, like I could find it." - (X-men Evolution - Mainstream) Scott: "Logan, have you ever... you know... really cared for someone? I mean, you felt it so strong you couldn't even get the words out?" Logan: "Yeah, once. Most beautiful bike I ever saw. I was so speechless someone else bought her." - (X-men: Evolution - Blind Alley) Tabitha: "'Nightcrawler', huh? That name's just not working for you, I'm sorry. Whoa! How about 'Wild Blue Yonder Boy'?" Kurt: "You are insane." - (X-men: Evolution - Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom!) Rahne: "It was plenty camouflaged!" Roberto: "A few more branches couldn't hurt." Rahne: "I smell overachiever issues." - (X-men: Evolution - Retreat) "EW! I touched soap!" - Todd (X-men Evolution - The Toad, The Witch, and the Wardrobe) Scott: "Go to Duncan Matthews' party? Nah, I don't think so. Matthews is a jerk." Kitty: "No he's not. I'd go." Scott: "No freshmen allowed." Kitty: "Oh. Matthews is a jerk." - (X-men: Evolution - Middleverse) "We scientist have a special term for that called 'I don't know'." - Beast (X-men: Evolution - Uprising) Logan: "You know I had you right where I wanted you?" Piotr: "I tore off your leg. What were you going to do? Gnaw at my ankles?" Logan: "The Hulk tore me in half once. You shoulda seen what I did to him. It was epic." - (Ultimate X-men #97) Rogue: "Kurt... have ya stopped to ask yourself, 'Why us'? Why, of all the X-men who could've done this job... why Forge requested us?" Kurt: "Because I live a charmed life, perhaps?" - (X-men Unlimited #4) "'I know there's a huge, heavy monster blocking your view and ripping the plane apart, Kitty, and just to make life even more interesting, the weather's the absolute pits, but you can fly the Runner a few more miles, can't you? Oh, and please keep the ride soft and steady. Because some of us are going to be hanging on the outside of the plane, and you musn't bounce us off.' Sure, Fuzzy Elf, no problemo. Yeah, right." - Kitty's thoughts while piloting a plane being attacked by a ginormous, tentacled demonic beast. (X-men: Soul Killer - a Marvel paperback novel) Rogue: "For the children of Magneto, though, they didn't put up much of a fight." Raven: "That's the difference between his family and ours. They were raised to believe they were the best. You and your brother actually are." Rogue: "Aw, shucks." - (X-men Forever 2 #15) "Ha! Too bad you forgot to... Oh, brain fart! What do you call it when birds fly south for the winter? Man, I had such a good line and I totally blew it." - Bobby to Warren (Ultimate X-men #??) Spiderman: "And don't think that just because two big super heroes showed up for that that you're some kind of special--" Logan: "Shut up!" Spiderman: "What?" Logan: "Don't make your stupid jokes when you're in this... state. You're making me look bad." Spiderman: "What?" Logan: "I have an image." Spiderman: "You have an aroma!" Logan: "You know what? Wait till you hit puberty, you'll see how hard it is to--" Spiderman: "I have hit puberty." Logan: "Well hit it harder, because where I come from--" Spiderman: "I'm not very comfortable having this conversation in front of--" Logan: "Well, someone has to tell you how-- hold on." - Logan and Peter Parker after switching bodies (Ulimate Spiderman #67) Piotr: "I'm one of the X-men." Spiderman: "Big giant Russian metal man!" Piotr: "Colossus." Spiderman: "Oh, I thought it was big giant Russian metal man." - (Ultimate Spiderman #92) Piotr: "Now I remember. Ororo attacked me." Spiderman: "Which one is that?" Piotr: "The African one with the weather powers." Spiderman: "She attacked you?" Piotr: "It wasn't her. She would never do that. And if Kitty attacked you, and Storm attacked me... we're dealing with a shapeshifter." Spiderman: "Or, women have decided to take over the world. I knew it was coming, but no one listens to me." - (Ulimate Spiderman #92) Kitty: "Xavier's the most powerful psychic on the planet." Spiderman: "I'm the 6,543rd." - (Ultimate Spiderman #93) Baby Cyclops: "Pleath, thir -- violenthe ith not neththethary!" Augie: "What did you say?!" Baby Cyclops: "I thaid violenthe ith uncalled for! Unleth it'th a matter of thelf-prethervation!" - (X-men #46) "Oh, my god! I totaled Wolvie's motorcycle! I'm dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! What am I going to tell him? I have to make up something. Let's see... I took it out for a tune-up... Magneto sneezed on it... a tree jumped out into the middle of the road and... oh, God! I'm sweating in places I didn't even know I could sweat in!" - Rogue (X-men #35) Kurt: "Strap in, meine Freunde. The in-flight movie has been cancelled and there will be no refreshments. But I believe we can get home without exploding." Betsy: "Always an unexpected bonus when you're flying X-air." - (X-men Legacy #233) "Let me guess -- when you possessed Kurt, you gained his knowledge, too. So you're going to chop up the skinny little jewish girl with the big, bad sword, right? 'Cos, you know, she's all on her own, right? No one around to save her from the big old wizard guy squatting in her best friend's body. She's trapped in here with you. She can't win. Just a little girl. Jerk. I'm an X-man. And you're trapped in here with me!" - Katherine Pryde to a possessed Nightcrawler (Excalibur #??) "Man doesn't break a sweat against Apocalypse or Magneto. So what nails him? A pine tree." - Logan after Remy's skiing accident. (X-men: TAS) Rogue: "YEEE-HAA! The X-men are here!" Kurt Darkholme: "You are the master of stealth, Rogue!" - (Age of Apocalypse) Master Po: "I trained him in the finer points of eighteen different styles of Kung Fu, and yet he still just charges headlong into a hail of bullets." Yuen Yee: "Seems to be working all right for him." - Master Po and Yuen Yee about Logan (Wolverine #17) Logan: "Being hated and feared by the world that doesn't understand us beats this circus any day." Hank: "Oh, you're always so grouchy when you get cut in half." - (Astonishing X-men #2) Brian: "Wisdom, do you have a deep dislike for oxygen?" Pete: "Air's overrated." - (Excalibur #101) Logan: "Kurt? But you're..." Kurt Wagner: "Dashing. Yes, I know." - (Wolverine #8) Logan: "K-Kurt... you... you're--" Kurt Darkholme: "Incredibly altruistic? Partially." - (Uncanny X-Force #17) "Inter-dimensional interventionists The Amazing X-men at your service." - Kurt Darkholme (Uncanny X-Force #17) "What's a Magneto?" - Logan (X-men Movie) |
